Returning from parental leave — but to which working model, exactly?
You want to go back. But the old model no longer fits — the daycare closes at 4 p.m., the little one is sick, the commute takes 40 minutes. Before you commit, it's worth seeing three realistic daily models side by side. Not the perfect one — the one that holds.
For the next few minutes
Most return-to-work problems don't arise during the transition itself, but two months later: when the model that looked good on paper breaks down in real everyday life. The early test is: does this daily model hold for a week, does it hold for three months, does it hold for a year?
Compare three models — not two and not ten. For example: a 4-day model (Fridays off), a 50-percent model (a few hours every day), or 80 percent with a remote-work anchor. For each one: waking up, drop-off, working hours, pick-up, evening. No optimizing — just making it visible.
The most important thing before returning: an informal conversation with someone who does this job at this company while raising children. Not with HR, but with a colleague. Three questions: what does a child's sick day actually look like here in practice. What working hours are considered normal in the team. Who covers for you when you have to leave.
Those three answers are more useful than any job description. If they're not reassuring, that's important to know — before you commit, not after.
Step by step
1. Write down three daily models
For example: 4 days, 50%, 80% with remote work. For each: wake-up time, drop-off, work start, work end, pick-up. Three columns, six rows — no digital tool needed.
2. Try living each model day for real
Monday, try the 4-day model. Tuesday, try the 50-percent model. No need to stick to it perfectly — just check: what breaks down first?
3. Have an information conversation
Find one person who does this job while raising children. Three questions: sick days, normal working hours, cover arrangements. A 15-minute coffee is enough.
4. Only then make your commitment
After the three daily model trials and the information conversation: which model holds for a year? That's the one you say yes to.
Common questions
Shouldn't I just go back the way things were and see how it goes?
That sometimes works — but the cost is usually high: two months of constant stress, then a crisis point, then resignation or burnout. Ten minutes of upfront simulation (three models, tried out dry for a week) can save three months of damage control.
What if my employer doesn't offer any part-time options?
Then that's important information. Either you negotiate more effectively with that knowledge (concrete models make negotiations easier than vague wishes), or you make your decision with your eyes open. Both are better than going back and realizing three months in that it isn't sustainable.
Don't I really need a network of other parents doing the same job?
That would be the most valuable thing — and if you have it, use it first. Dojitai steps in before that: if you don't know any parents in a comparable situation or aren't sure where to start, Dojitai gives you the three concrete questions you should be asking.